LATE! A Timebender’s guide to why we are late and how we can change lists 12 tried and tested guidelines for living with someone who is chronically late.
Here are three of the best:
1. Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines!
A deadline is the trigger which motivates a Timebender to get moving. Without a deadline they can be hours late. But a deadline can’t just be plucked from the air – it must be real and have consequences. Made up deadlines have no effect whatever. If there isn’t a deadline, see if you can create one. Could you call a cab instead of driving yourself? Could you arrange to pick up someone on the journey? There are plenty of ways it can be done, if the event is important enough not to be late for.
2. Don’t give an inch!
If you say you are leaving at 2pm, then leave at 2pm. This seems harsh, but it is tough love, and will save your sanity. One you have demonstrated that a deadline is real, it will start to be heeded. There is a theory that people who are always late are adrenaline addicts, and needs to feel that kick of fear to get moving. If you treat them gently they will keep pushing the boundaries later and later. You need to be cruel to be kind. Believe it or not, they hate being late, and are grateful for a real deadline which motivates them to be on time.
3. Try not to get mad
If you lose your temper every time a deadline is missed, this becomes a way of measurement. Your tolerance limit becomes the starting pistol. Once the steam starts to come out of your ears, your partner will start to get a move on. This is not good for either of you, so see if you can find other ways to show that time is up. What ideas can you think of, to signal that time is up? How about practicing a musical instrument?
Three Essential Guidelines for Living With Someone Who is Always Late
